I was looking for dirty pictures of donkeys with barely legal men and women when I stumbled across this thing called a blog. I always knew that I was going to change the world without my pants on, but I never knew until now. As I researched this phenomena called blogging, I found opinions on politics, religion, pretty woman that won't have sex with level five dungeon masters, and pop culture. My blog is not for that. I do not have opinions, only truth. Some people go to churches, temples, bordellos, green peace concerts using enough natural resources to save Africa, and truck stop bathroom stalls to look for truth. But the truth was not available until now, thanks to my slipping into the abyss of blogdom only available on the porn machine.
I guess I will tell you a little about myself. In the year Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five, I was born by The Prince of Darkness (not Ozzy, but the TRUE Prince of Darkness, Rip Taylor) and Janet Reno (I know...I know. I came out of her dick). I single-handedly brought down the Berlin Wall, brought together the New Kids of The Block, broke them up, turned Michael Jackson white, and freed Nelson Mandela before I was thirteen. These days, I spend my time sucking goat dick and rimjobbing sheep when I am not feeding the hungry and creating the success of pop sensations such as Brittany Spears.
I will go now. Keep reading this blog, you will discover the truth.
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